withdrawal
not as in from an addiction (although sometimes racing can be considered as such), but as in to no longer participate in. yeah. (big breath.) the kickoff to my team's adventure racing year was supposed to be this weekend - the Checkpoint Zero Adventure Race. we raced it last year and had a blast: a terrific Berwald-designed course, fab team + support (of course), and a top-notch race experience thanks to Yak. definitely on my list of top 5 races, so of course we were stoked to do it again.
but then hunter broke his hand riding at chicopee. when this happened, we got a few alternates with the caveat it might be last minute notice. hunter cut of his cast about 2 weeks ago (yeah, did it himself) and tried to go out paddling; not so successfully. he still remained optimistic. meanwhile alternate 1 found a team but our backup was ready to go. friday we got the nod that hunter was definitely out (a wise choice, as there is no need to create further injury so early in the season). when i talked to our alternate, he was out. (again, understandably after already racing in long events twice this month, being a newlywed, and moving into a new house.) but now here we are, 5 days before the event... and we don't have a complete team.
daniel and i talked. a lot. (and i talked a lot with some friends. and the great Berwaldi himself.) we are both all over the place... we definitely desire to do this race. the course we know will rock (even if it does make us suffer). it will be good to see new places and old friends. on the other hand, we aren't in top shape - i'm only 2 months out from the groin injury and still building up endurance. daniel has been focusing on running (boston here he comes!), so he's feeling his biking isn't up there (although he'd still be fine i bet!) then add in my allergies that i think are starting their spring thing with me and the other stress in my life that has been mentally & emotionally wearing me down (my iphone phone # debaucle and the ridiculous arrival of my new road bike damaged and the bike shop not owning up to the fact it was their fault). i haven't been sleeping well and am just worn down.
so tonight we had the final talk. daniel was leaning towards yes, let's race as a 2 person team (there is a division for this... although we had our heart set on the elite division). i was still leaning towards the no. it was a tough talk and we analyzed it to death. i feel i ultimately was the one to end it which makes me feel like crap. i'm glad the decision is done, although i know i'll regret it. (but i think if i was there, i'd still feel some regret for ignoring Life.) i think it is the right decision for me; but that's the problem with a team sport: my decision affects others too.
as tony said, it's just a race. there will be more. now i just have to get it through my thick head that this is not the end of the world. i think a soul-cleansing epic bike ride this weekend may help. (as long as i finish my taxes, do AND put away the laundry, catch up on cleaning.... etc....)
but then hunter broke his hand riding at chicopee. when this happened, we got a few alternates with the caveat it might be last minute notice. hunter cut of his cast about 2 weeks ago (yeah, did it himself) and tried to go out paddling; not so successfully. he still remained optimistic. meanwhile alternate 1 found a team but our backup was ready to go. friday we got the nod that hunter was definitely out (a wise choice, as there is no need to create further injury so early in the season). when i talked to our alternate, he was out. (again, understandably after already racing in long events twice this month, being a newlywed, and moving into a new house.) but now here we are, 5 days before the event... and we don't have a complete team.
daniel and i talked. a lot. (and i talked a lot with some friends. and the great Berwaldi himself.) we are both all over the place... we definitely desire to do this race. the course we know will rock (even if it does make us suffer). it will be good to see new places and old friends. on the other hand, we aren't in top shape - i'm only 2 months out from the groin injury and still building up endurance. daniel has been focusing on running (boston here he comes!), so he's feeling his biking isn't up there (although he'd still be fine i bet!) then add in my allergies that i think are starting their spring thing with me and the other stress in my life that has been mentally & emotionally wearing me down (my iphone phone # debaucle and the ridiculous arrival of my new road bike damaged and the bike shop not owning up to the fact it was their fault). i haven't been sleeping well and am just worn down.
so tonight we had the final talk. daniel was leaning towards yes, let's race as a 2 person team (there is a division for this... although we had our heart set on the elite division). i was still leaning towards the no. it was a tough talk and we analyzed it to death. i feel i ultimately was the one to end it which makes me feel like crap. i'm glad the decision is done, although i know i'll regret it. (but i think if i was there, i'd still feel some regret for ignoring Life.) i think it is the right decision for me; but that's the problem with a team sport: my decision affects others too.
as tony said, it's just a race. there will be more. now i just have to get it through my thick head that this is not the end of the world. i think a soul-cleansing epic bike ride this weekend may help. (as long as i finish my taxes, do AND put away the laundry, catch up on cleaning.... etc....)
Labels: race report
posted by cathi at 10:21 PM
4 Comments:
BUMMER! I'm sorry that I won't see you this weekend. Take care of business and approach the next race with a clear head.
I guess it was not meant to be. See you in a few weeks at River Gorge Race?
Totally OT, but I'm gonna do the Cohutta 65, so I'll finally get to meet you in person!
well, after seeing the weather on saturday (and the frozen faces in the pics), i think i might be very happy with my decision not to race! not that i wasn't in agony too.... worked on my taxes a lot...
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